The bad: My computer is broken so I’ve been using my husband’s. It’s not the same. My washing machine’s seal is broken and is leaking. My sons have nasty colds and different infections as a result. I had to give them pharmaceutical medicine which I hate doing. They are cranky, especially the 5 month old. He doesn’t think I, or anyone else for that matter, should eat, drink, shower, or pee (in the toilet). This makes me cranky. Therefore everyone is cranky. I feel incredibly overwhelmed and inadequate as a mom these days. My 3-year-old has been in total regression mode for 5 months now. I’ve stopped putting down new sheets on his bed and just put on a new towel each night. I’m almost ready to put him back in diapers during the day but really can’t stand that thought. My six-year old daughter is doing very well. She’s reading and learning all on her own. Without me…. I want to tell my husband these things and ask for more help with house-hold jobs. But it’s so ‘peaceful’ now. He may think I don’t appreciate what he does do. Which is a lot. But when I’m being attacked by laundry piles, dirty dishes, toys, and all sorts of other invisible to-do lists floating around, I can’t help but sulk and become bitter. He’s gone to work, which is good, but I’m left here with all this and all them. It’s enough to make a person go crazy.
The good: After I wrote the above paragraph, I had a great conversation with my husband since I wrote down my thoughts it was easier to say it out loud. I realized that his life at work is difficult too. He deals with whiny adults and endless task lists. Thanks to modern technology, his work follows him and finds him even while at home sometimes. That said, we’ll keep working together and it’s ok for me to ask for more help. I also promised to try to avoid unloading my entire day on him upon his arrival. He helped me remember that this too shall pass and I need to listen to my own advice. Simplify. Take each day at a time, each child at a time, each pile of laundry and dirty dish and meal at a time. I’m so thankful for God’s grace. When my thoughts in my head say, “I can’t,” God says, “Yes, we can.”
Oh Erika, there are some days I feel like I could have written this verbatim. Word. For. Word. And Steve’s response sounds sooo much like what Aaron says to me. The voice of reason in the midst of the storm. God bless you my friend. I will say some prayers for you today.
thank you, Monica
Extra prayers are alwayd helpful
I love you, my friend.
thank you. And thank you for your phone call in the midst of my storm